Ashes on your eyes
by Roni-chan
Summary: just about the time your heart breaks like a wheel / not in a straight line, but all in pieces. (it's not forgiveness, but it's a start.)


**Ashes on your eyes**

-o-

_So look up, up ahead_  
_The city lights are dancing for you_  
_Or is it the aurora burning of the edges of the sky?_  
_Don't cry, don't cry_  
_That's all over now._

-o-

_Why_, Aphrodi wonders as he looks up at the other from the ground. His mind feels a little fuzzy, and it would be hard to answer any question like that, but this one is particularly complex, and Aphrodi has never been that good with riddles. He prefers straightforward answers presented to him, things that speak clearly to him - like how Endou's voice rang through the oddly distorted shine around him at the time he's been relying on lies that made him a fake god.

There is no straightforward answer, of course, when it comes to revenge, and as Aphrodi has so far been _almost _always on the winning side (obviously), he's never had much cause to have such a feeling. He's always been relentless on the field, but outside of it, he's not much of a physically violent person - perhaps that's why defending himself doesn't even cross his mind.

Or perhaps, it's because somewhere, deep down, he knows he **deserves **this. Not only for what he did to the one now hovering above him, having just sent him tumbling against the wall, and then sliding slowly onto the ground... but for all the rest he's destroyed along his way to the top... where, in the end, he was the one crushed pathetically.

"Do you think only because you somehow tricked Raimon into letting you join them, suddenly everything you did is erased?" the voice above him bellows at him, and Aphrodi merely raises a hand to wipe the blood from the corner of his mouth. The next thing he knows, the wind is knocked out of him properly as he receives a kick into his lower stomach. The blond keels over, his arms wrapped around himself, gaping for air. "Endou might have a good heart, but he's a fool if he really trusts you!"

Aphrodi can feel tears springing to his eyes as he is kneed in his jaw next - good thing he doesn't bite his tongue off at least, as his teeth clash together. He's beginning to see stars - he doesn't think he can last much longer. Through the thin film of moisture, he can only see the outlines of the other boy blurrily; untamed, semi-long brown locks sticking out in every direction, painted streaks on both cheeks underneath brilliant blue eyes. He opens his mouth, but all that comes out is a pathetic little gasp as he's kicked again, this time just below his ribs. That one's going to bruise.

Before he finally blacks out completely, the last two things entering his mind are the weirdest combination of thoughts that he's ever thought at the same time. One of them _is I'm sorry_, and the other one is...

_He's attractive._

Later, of course, when he wakes in a bed, finding Endou, Kidou and Kazemaru sitting next to him, all three of them looking beyond worried, he can only vaguely recall that last thought, and he quickly decides it must have been a delusion from the minor concussion he's gotten. He's also annoyingly tight-lipped about what has happened to him,

... but, no matter what, he can't bring himself to look Kidou in the eye.

* * *

At first, Genda doesn't look up when he hears the modest knock, replies "Enter!", and then the door opens with a creak. Kidou probably dropped in to check on how Sakuma's operations are coming along, since he's feeling a lot better now. Still not well enough to actually get out of bed, but, well, after using a technique like that, both of them are lucky to be still alive, so he can't quite complain.

When he finally looks up, only to see that the visitor definitely _isn't _Kidou Yuuto, his jaw first drops open, speechless for a moment, then his expression turns into a vicious sneer. "What, have you come to laugh at me?! Ended up broken again, like the loser I-..."

"No," Aphrodi cuts him off coolly, and he can't even really tell _why_, but there is something in the blond's tone that makes Genda instantly fall silent. His eyes as he looks at the captain of Zeus (now a member of Raimon) are full of loathing, but he still cannot help but notice that it does not reflect in the blond's own gaze. Genda would think he gave the other just about enough reason to hate him back; still Aphrodi's face shows nothing but a mask of polite disinterest (or maybe it's actual _interest_?). "I came to check on you and your friend Sakuma-kun in Kidou-kun's place, since he injured himself at practice today."

Just as how Genda is doing his best to hide his obvious discomfort and worry upon hearing such news (and is failing), Aphrodi doesn't have any intention to share his feelings concerning the odd sort of way Kidou looked at him when he volunteered to come instead of him (and yet that, too, is reflecting on his face, and it _almost _makes Genda smile).

In the end, the brunette looks toward the window with a scowl, refusing to meet the other's eyes again, and bites out, "You can tell Kidou we're fine. I'm going to be discharged in under a week, and Sakuma only has two more operations to go, too, so no worries." All right, _so no worries _is probably an overstatement, but if it makes the other go away-...

His breath hitches for a moment at that thought - is this really worth making Kidou worry even more? _They _were the stupid ones, after all, wanting revenge on someone who only tried his best for their sake, tried to keep them from injuring themselves, and they were too stupid to listen. If Aphrodi goes back to Kidou with these exact words, Kidou is going to know Genda was lying, and even if Genda loathes Aphrodi, Kidou deserves better than lying.

"... Sakuma might not be able to play soccer again," he finally admits in a low voice, now staring at his own hands curled into fists on the blanket. "But nothing is sure yet, so... we're hoping..." At this point, to his horror, he finds his voice beginning to choke off, and so he quickly falls silent, staring at his own fists till they begin to become blurry - still he refuses to show any sign of weakness in front of this **monster **(if only he would just _leave already!_), so he's definitely not going to wipe at his eyes.

But Aphrodi doesn't move an inch, and after what seems like an eternity, even though it was only a few seconds of complete silence, Genda hears his voice again, barely above a whisper,

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be," Genda snaps immediately, glad to find his voice working again. "It's none of your concern."

"It is, though," Aphrodi objects, and again, it's that strange tone of voice; quiet and solemn, almost gentle, yet carrying an air of unquestionable authority. _No wonder he was captain of Zeus_, Genda thinks bitterly, still he can't simply close his eyes as the blond continues to speak. "It would have never happened, had we not crushed Teikoku - had you not been given such a thirst for revenge. That makes it my fault."

"The two things have nothing to do with each other!" Genda says, surprising even himself with how vehement he is. "It was about Kidou abandoning us-..." _Which was proven to be untrue_, he finishes in thought, hanging his head again.

"... that he did in order to avenge you against my team," Aphrodi completes the sentence quietly, and this time, Genda finds he could care less about what sort of sight he is as he pulls his knees up to his chest, and wraps his arms around them.

"It still wasn't-... The entire thing was Kageyama's fault anyways, wasn't it?!" His voice is weaker than he would like it to sound, _and anyways, why am I even defending him?!_

Aphrodi stays silent again for a while. Genda, who still doesn't feel like looking up, is beginning to think he might have left, after all, when he finally speaks again.

"I also wanted to thank you."

"Eh-...?" Genda thinks he heard the other wrong. Thank him for what? Is Aphrodi out of his right mind? There is definitely nothing he needs to be thanked for... especially not how their last meeting went. Deep down, Genda is still ashamed of himself; whenever he thinks of it, all he is reminded of is Kidou's excitement as he talks about Endou Mamoru, and his law of how problems caused by soccer can only be solved through soccer. Isn't what he did the complete opposite of that? How utterly shameful - not at all befitting the captain of Teikoku. "Thank me for...?"

"You went easy on me," Aphrodi says, and, for the first time, his voice seems to be softening a little. Genda can't resist looking up now, and he's surprised to see that the blond looks like he is almost smiling. "I broke your best friend's jaw with a soccer ball, and you didn't even think of using your crutch." Genda blinks; that one is certainly true, he didn't even think of doing so - but, wait, does Aphrodi think that would have been suitable punishment? The brunette's eyes widen at the thought, and that, too, only makes Aphrodi's half-smile widen into an actual one. "See? I was nothing but a fake god, but you are a better human than I will ever be."

The next moment, he's gone, but it's another good half an hour before Genda can chase the sight of his smile out of his mind, and more or less convince himself that it definitely was not the cause for that odd flutter in his stomach.

* * *

"Have you come to laugh at me?"

Aphrodi's voice is completely different from the way Genda spoke last time. He is smiling, this time openly, and, as if not even waiting for an answer, the next moment he is already turning towards the window, leaning a little closer to the tiny robin that's settled itself on the window sill. Genda wouldn't be able to explain why, but he finds himself with a furious blush on his face, almost unable to stutter out a "N-No."

The blond doesn't turn back in his direction as he asks, "Then, why?" - he is reaching out towards the robin, and the bird seems to contemplate for a couple of seconds about jumping onto his fingers. Genda doesn't realize he's holding his breath, until it finally changes his mind and takes flight, Aphrodi's hand drops back onto the blanket, and the goalkeeper exhales noisily.

"Uh, well..." Suddenly, there are no words, or, at least, no _right _ones, because Aphrodi is looking straight at him, and, for some dumb reason, Genda wasn't expecting that to happen. He feels stupid and annoyed at the same time, and it makes for a pretty odd combination; perhaps that's why he drops the box onto the bed with a little more force than he originally intended. "Here. You're supposed to like this stuff, right?"

Aphrodi blinks surprisedly, and even though he's trying really hard (at least, compared to his usual self) to withhold from snide comments, he still can't help murmuring, "Felt compelled to repay the visit, huh?", before he opens the box.

Once he looks at the content, though, the cynicism disappears quicker than anticipated - for its contents are nothing more, nothing less, than three perfectly shaped, tasty-looking nectarines. "This is what Greek gods ate, isn't it?" Genda asks gruffly, and Aphrodi really, honestly can't hold his laughter back anymore. This is the most irrational, yet most wonderful present he's ever gotten, and just the thought of who exactly it was that brought it is enough to make him shake his head with disbelief. Has the world turned entirely upside down? "What?!" Genda snaps at him, but Aphrodi just keeps laughing, and the fact that the brunette is still red as a tomato doesn't evade his attention at all.

The nectarine is juicy and sweet, not altogether different from an ordinary peach, of course, and Aphrodi has always preferred sourer things, like grapes, but still, it's the thought that counts, right? He doesn't take more than one bite, for now, allowing a content sigh to escape after he swallowed, and then he's just looking at Genda over the half-eaten nectarine he's still holding, till the other begins to squirm. "What sort of idiot brings a present to someone who hurt all his friends?" Aphrodi finally asks, his voice uncharacteristically quiet.

Genda rolls his eyes as a response. "I could ask the same, you know! What kind of idiot thanks someone for beating him unconscious?!" Aphrodi, who has been in the middle of raising the fruit to take another bite, lowers his hand, and averts his eyes, albeit yet again, there is that small smile on his lips, the one that (this time he really can't deny it) makes Genda's stomach do weird backflips.

"I guess you're right... maybe Endou-kun has been rubbing off on me too mu-..." He doesn't get to finish the sentence.

Underneath the nectarine, Aphrodi tastes a bit sour, like grapes. The moment their lips touch, neither of them has any coherent thoughts left in their minds. Albeit there might be a myriad of questions waiting to be answered, right at this moment, none of them form into any unsaid sentences; neither Aphrodi's guilt, nor Genda's confusion.

Aphrodi would expect them to return, once they break apart, but still his mind somehow stays blank, to the point where it's unlikely to ever be filled with thoughts again; he's just sitting there with a half-eaten nectarine in one hand, Genda's fingers in the other, and maybe, for a split second, he feels redeemed, moreso than when Endou Mamoru first shook his hand.

"You were wrong," Genda finally breaks the silence, and his fingers curl around Aphrodi's a little tighter, much to the other's surprise.

"I know that now," Aphrodi mutters, but Genda shakes his head.

"No, I mean... last time. About you not being human enough. I mean... you just did the same thing I'd done, right?" Genda's smile is surprisingly soft for someone who otherwise has such a tough exterior and steel-hard resolution. "You're here because you pushed yourself beyond your limits for your comrades. Raimon's lucky to have you."

Aphrodi's heart skips a beat, and he's sure it's not only because Genda's lips are hovering above his own again.


End file.
